Movies based off of Video Games haven't had their "X-Men" yet...

I did a post a week or so ago about how video games based off of movies always seem to have problems with production and the where the money goes into these games.  Well, let's look at the other side of the coin.  Why do movies based off of video games always seem to suck?  Well, let's take a look....

Believe it or not, this was a trend setter.

 First, let's look at another medium that had problems reaching into the mainstream, but has done very well for itself over the past several years; comic book movies.  Back when I was younger, there were lots of super hero movies out there.  Hell, there were TV shows that came on TV all the time.  With the release of X-Men, however, these movies became grittier and less focused on the comic and more based in reality (or as close to reality as a Norse God/kid bitten by a radioactive spider/mutant/rich guy in a batsuit/etc can get , anyway).  We'll get back to this in a second...Now let's move on to movie making 101.  Any scriptwriter will tell you that the first day of script writing class consists of one major rule, "Assume your audience is full of idiots."  In short, you might have a wonderful script and story, but if you don't properly explain it to people who have no idea what you're talking about, you're effectively eliminating half the audience from enjoying your work.  That's why when you see a movie based off of a vampire, they always have to go into what a vampire is, what they do, how they do it, and how they can be killed; even though even my mother knows a wooden stake to the heart gets the job done.  Although, there are people out there who apparently have no idea what a  vampire really is *cough*Twilight*cough*.  

Where do I put the oak stake again?

On the other hand, a video game doesn't have to tell you what a vampire is.  Storytelling is done completely different.  You pick up a game, you see a vampire, to kick it's ass.  The game focuses more on the overall story and characters rather than the act of killing said vampire.  So what I'm trying to communicate here, and taking a long time to do it; is that video games and movies are written two different ways.  Movies assume you're a moron, video games assume you are a genius.  There are other things I could point out, but that would take far too long to get into, and quite honestly, the point I want to make here is that script writing for movies and writing for a video games are two completely different animals.  

Painful.  Just painful.

 Now let's get to the video games, and why they suck as movies.  All movies that are based off of another medium (video games, comic books, novels, TV shows...) all have to please two completely opposed audiences.  The first audience is the casual movie goer, such as my mother and father.  The second, and completely opposed audience, is the fanboys/girls of said medium.  If you look at Harry Potter, how many times have you asked someone what they thought of a Harry Potter movie, and you could immediately tell if they were casual or hardcore based off their response?  It's easy, isn't it?  So bringing it back to all video games here, let's look at Super Mario Brothers.  Yes, shut up, I know it sucks, but most game movies suck, so close your pie hole.  This movie had to please both the Super Mario fans as well as the casual movie goer.  It did neither.  Quite simply, the movie were not written, directed, or performed (which is REALLY hard to do since Bob Hoskins AND Dennis Hopper were both in it) well enough to attract the casual audience.  Furthermore, they completely freaking changed the Super Mario story and characters around to the point where the fans thought it was revolting.  Therefore, you screwed up both sides of the audience, and the final result was not good. Sadly, most game movies fall into this area.  

How could I talk about this movie and not have this?

God help us, this is better than Chun Li film.

Street Fighter (both of them..don't even get me started on Legend of Chun-Li, I'll rant for hours...yes believe it or not, the original campy ass Street Fighter is better than the one that came out a few years ago...), is an example of a movie that tackled the movie from a gamer perspective.  It was obvious that fans were behind this film from the start.  However, if you let the inmates run the asylum, there is very little focus on drawing in the casual movie goer, which this movie flat out didn't do.  Furthermore, like Mario, it was poorly written and directed, so the final product didn't impress fans either.  In short, to me, it seemed like the only thing that they wanted to do was put a live action version of every character on the screen, in their game outfits, doing at least one of their special moves.  So while there is a camp classic factor to Jean Claude Van Damme's sizzling performance as Guile, I doubt that the Raul Julia is sitting up in movie making heaven praising Street Fighter as the movie he wanted to make right before he died (burn).  Of course, crappy writing probably had something to do with the fact that Street Fighter's story is about as easy to follow as a gnat in a rainstorm, but that is more Capcom's fault.  Gotta remember that movie was made back during the popularity of Street Fighter II, and Capcom was grabbing at anything in order to make everything flow together, which is really not the fault of Hollywood.  (I would love to see the storyboard in Capcom HQ here Chun-Li was a reporter, and E.Honda was her cameraman....but I digress...  I will say that Street Fighter is better that Mortal Kombat in every way, except one.  MK had a story from the start.  Street Fighter didn't have a real one until well after the game hit it big..which makes the Chun-Li movie even MORE excusable..rage...RAGE....).  So, there's only a handful of games that have stories harder to follow that Street Fighter's...one of them happens to be...

Not that bad, considering how bad it could have been

So which outfit is better to fight in?

Hey Tekken, welcome to the party!  The live action Tekken movie represents the other side of this spectrum.  Like Street Fighter, Tekken's story is...rather difficult to follow.  However, a few years ago, Hollywood took a try and putting this on film and made a live action version of Tekken.  The final result?  Honestly, it's better than you've probably heard.  In fact, most people I know have never seen it.  Instead, they just look at it and roll their eyes at it because they just know it sucks.  However, the producers of Tekken took the exact opposite approach as Street Fighter did.  Sure, most of the popular characters are around, and many of them are in (or..not so much in..ladies) their trademark outfits.  However, since Tekken's story is...difficult, the writers just did what they could with what they had.  However,  it wasn't really Tekken, outside of some shout outs here and there, it took a lot of liberties with the overall plot line, and to this day is shunned by most gamers.  However, on the flip side, they did sign some pretty damn good martial artists for the movie, and wouldn't you know it, they managed to put together some pretty damn good fights.  We're not talking Jackie Chan/Jet Li here, but the film is overall entertaining because the fight scenes are really well done.  So this one went too mainstream for the martial arts, and managed to alienate the hardcore, and ultimately failed.

She was almost a Jill sandwich.

Now, want to see one done properly?  No, I'm not talking about Resident Evil.  I would group the Resident Evil franchise up with the Tekken crowd.  It's entertaining because it's a hot chick with guns killing zombies, and while they do manage to throw in some shout outs to the game, the truth is that the true reason you'll all go see the next Resident Evil movie in a few months is you wanna see hot ass Milla Jovovich lay waste to hordes of zombies, violently, while wearing something form fitting.  It's a proven formula, and it works, right Underworld fans?  

Gold standard of gaming movies.  Period.

Anyway, where was I?  Ah, yes.  The one movie/game franchise that managed to hit the nail on the head next to perfectly, and brought in both the casual movie goer and please the hardcore fan at the same time?  Silent Hill.  You bet your ass Silent freaking Hill.  This movie was well written, directed, performed and managed to walk that thin line of pleasing both audiences.  Want to know what I mean?  They actually got Akira Yamaoka, the guy who did the music for the original games, to compose the music for the movie.  If you don't think music can add anything to a movie, look at Final Fantasy: Spirits Within, and get back to me.  If Hironobu Sakaguchi could have a mulligan on that movie, I bet one of the first things I bet he would do is properly place Nobuo Uematsu as composer.  Anyway, the changed what needed to be changed from the game for the movie, but not to the point where the fans felt insulted, and they managed to tell the story very well, and making it easy to digest for everyone who wanted to see it.  As of right now, to me, Silent Hill reigns as the king of the movie games because it was done properly and managed to bring in both casual and fans of the series into the same audience and left them both pleased.

Sad because Batman killed his franchise.

So now we get back to the comic book movies, and what video games will have to do in order to produce money on the silver screen.  Look no further than your friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man.  Back in 2002, Sam Raimi put together a pretty good Spider-Man movie.  It had a star studded cast, and a big budget.  Colombia (Sony) put out a pretty damn big budget because X-Men had made some serious bank for Fox a few years earlier.  However, instead of going the direction that X-Men did, which was a darker and more realistic feel to an, otherwise, unbelievable story.  There were no bright and colorful uniforms, there was a lot of infighting, and it just had a more rustic look to it.  If X-Men were to happen, it could happen like this.  Less comic, more realistic.  Spider-Man took the more comic approach, where there was a lot of monologing (is that even a word?), and a lot of campiness with citizens of New York shouting approval to Spider-Man for random reasons (For one..can you keep your damn mask on?  Even the crappy Batman movies in the 90'd managed to do that.  4 movies, he takes his mask of once.  Spider-Man takes his mask off every 10 minutes).  By the time the third movie rolled around (which I have my own theories about...), something very important had happened.  Batman Begins.   Yes, one superhero that actually is more popular that Spider-Man managed to reboot with a very dark and edgy story, it was hard hitting, realistic, and believable.  Much more believable than any super hero movie before it.  The ending result came in for Spider-Man 3, instead of moving on with a 4th movie (which they had gotten verbal commitments from most of the cast and the director), Colombia elected to reboot the franchise completely.  The result is the Amazing Spider-Man, which is a Batman Begins-esque style of reboot.  More grit and realism, and a lot less camp and monologing (if that's not a word, it should be).  

So why do I bring this into gaming movies?  Simply put, if video games are ever going to make it in the movie world, they need to follow this formula.  Realism.  Plain and simple.  Make the game believable.  If a movie based off of an existing medium manages to not only make money for itself, but also boost the popularity of that said medium, then it's a true success all the way around.  Comic books have it down to a science now.  Video games, if they want to get on board, need to do the same.  Big budgets aren't always needed, but well written scripts are (While I'm on that, can someone explain to me how we can't get a freaking Halo or Zelda movie, yet someone managed to procure an extremely exorbitant amount of money in order to make a freaking board game, Battleship, into a movie?!)